Retreat

I have been weighed down heavily lately. I take myself too serious sometimes and I tend to over extend myself and then get down on myself when I can't deliver.

I also feel like I've taken some gigantic steps forward in these last few months, which is good...however, I also feel like in doing so, the enemy has tried to knock me down......and quite honestly he is doing a good job. The past few weeks have been an uphill battle for my soul, mind and heart. I am tired. I need to retreat.....even if defeated, crying in the arms of Christ is my comfort. I cannot fight this on my own and I know it. I am now laying down at His feet and resting and being restored, being rejuvenated. I will enter the battle again soon....but hopefully with more strength and knowledge of the enemy than before.

The thing that makes me keep going though is.....I know if the enemy is attacking like this, I must be doing something right.....so I'm grateful and humbled at the same time to be counted worthy of this war.....and looking forward to what God has for me in the future.....for now, I will rest in His peace and gain strength from His Joy.

Doing good....

Ever get tired of doing good? Ever get tired of doing the right thing when no one else around you seems to? Ever get tired of lifting others up, but being torn down be even those you are lifting up? Yeah, me too....but the bible explicitly tell us to never tire of doing good, especially to those in the body of Christ. (Galatians 6:19)

Now just a warning....I may ramble in this post a little, but hang in there!

I recently watched the movie Fireproof and was pleasantly surprised by many of the connotations. I knew it is a Christian movie about marriage, however, there was a part in the movie with the father talks to the son about his marriage and the father asks the son, what he views as the main problem. The son(Kirk Cameron) goes off on the fact that he gets no respect, that he gives and gives and gets nothing in return and gets rejected constantly.....The father is then standing by a cross and plainly implies well....now you know how Jesus feels....When you take a hard look at Jesus' life......He gave and gave and gave......never once did he say no to anyone....they asked for healing; He healed, they even asked for "impossible" things like raising loved ones to life; He raised them, they asked to be forgiven; He forgave, they asked for the truth; He told them.....and even when they asked and He gave, it was still not enough....so He then was beaten, spat on, rejected, mocked, talked about, blamed, and crucified....even at the point of death.....Jesus spoke good of them and for them....."Father forgive them....." Never once did he say, "ya know what.....Im done.....all you do is this that and the other.....and i never get any respect....." .....look what you've done to me.....you don't deserve this gift"

Nope. He didn't do that....He gave even when there seemed to be no reason to....but we all know why He did.....we all know now, He came to save those that are lost. So in turn, we are supposed to be like him as little Christs.....sharing His love, not ours cause ours is worthless.....sharing His kindness.......not ours, cause ours is filthy disgusting rags......God always amazes me.....Im amazed by my amazement sometimes.....It never gets old to hear what He did and consistently does for us.....Sometime I find myself getting a thought and then giving it completely to God almost in tears knowing I cannot do anything without Him....seriously....I am completely useless on my own.....and my recognition of that is not even of me.....its only because He has made it known to me....He amazes me and this is how we are supposed to be......we are supposed to amaze people....In Christs Love.

Galatians 6:9-⁹ And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. ¹⁰ Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith.